Abortion Story #249: Tamar’s story

Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days. The beginning of Tamar Abrams’ story is below. She speaks about the abortion she had in college, reflects on shame, and later shares what compelled her to publicly discuss her experience – the 2009 murder of Dr. George Tiller, an abortion provider killed while leaving church. Read her full essay, My Abortion: It’s Time to Tell, that was published in Huffington Post.


“I had an abortion in 1975 when I was a college sophomore. I’ve never told anyone in my adult life – not my parents, my friends and lovers, my siblings or my teenage daughter. I didn’t tell my colleagues in the 1990s when I was working at Planned Parenthood, nor when I was urging women to tell their own personal abortion stories as the U.S. Supreme Court stood poised to chip away at Roe v. Wade over the past few decades. Why is it I never told anyone? Shame, I guess. I was a smart kid in college, taking women’s studies classes, talking a good game about women’s rights. I even spent two long uncomfortable weeks refusing to shave my legs before I caved. And I had a brief and intense love affair with a student who lived in my dorm.

Within weeks, I suspected I was pregnant. But I had never been to a gynecologist or known anyone who was pregnant. There were several horrible weeks of ignoring the increasing signs as I chose to increase my focus on my studies. I don’t recall any longer a lot of the details but will forever be grateful for the local Planned Parenthood clinic and two of the nicest middle-aged women there who helped me make the hardest decision I have ever made…”

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