Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days. What follows is the opening excerpt from Anna Spargo-Ryan’s personal story. She reflects on her relationship to her body and moving through self-judgment about her decision to obtain an abortion. Read Anna’s full narrative, The Only Person Who Judges Me for My Abortion – Who Matters – Is Me, published in the Huffington Post.
“I have a recurring dream wherein I am staring into a mirror and shouting at myself.
I have run the gamut of pregnancy experiences: children, miscarriage and abortion. Having children and miscarriages and saying “those things were really hard” is completely acceptable. They are hard. Childbirth is hard, parenting is hard, losing a baby is hard — they are physically and emotionally devastating in their various ways.
On the other hand, it seems we are allowed to speak about abortions in one of two ways: our insurmountable regret, or our complete lack of doubt.
I have spent the past six years tormenting myself for being in this in-between place of, “I’m sad about my abortion. I don’t think I was powerful and in control. But I don’t regret it either.”…”