Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days. Latifah Miles published her perspective about how having an abortion at 19 “made [her] appreciate motherhood” a few years later. While she still holds complex feelings about ending her first pregnancy, she explains her gratitude toward being able to become a parent when she felt ready. The opening of her essay is below; read her full story as it originally appeared on Romper.com.
“I got pregnant for the first time when I was 19 years old, at a time when the last thing I wanted was a baby. Frankly, I was still very much a baby myself, and the thought of caring for another life felt like a death sentence to me. I still remember pulling out the pregnancy test I’d stored away at my parents’ house, my heart racing as I wondered if I was pregnant with a new life at a time when I wasn’t even capable of paying my own phone bill. The positive sign that quickly appeared seconds later was absolutely paralyzing.
Immediately afterward, I rushed to my boyfriend’s dorm room to break the news to him. For a while, we sat in silence, until he turned to me and told me that we couldn’t do this, listing every possible reason for us to find the nearest clinic to terminate the pregnancy. In the midst of his own self-rationalizations, it became clear that terminating the pregnancy was also the best choice for me. I was 19, with little to no support and a minimum wage job, struggling through the early years of college. My baby didn’t deserve a life like that.
So after a few days of tossing and turning, I came to the same conclusion: I got an abortion. I walked into a doctor’s office a week later as a mom-to-be and I walked out a changed woman…”