Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days.
Today’s story is from Chelsea and was originally published at the Shout Your Abortion website. It’s about dealing with her prior ideas regarding abortion and how they fed her shame.
Hi there SYA!
First off thank you for organizing this mission – I was stoked to hear and learn about what yah’ll have been doing to get the positive word out.
When I was 25 my then boyfriend and I got pregnant (on accident obviously). I was pretty shocked to find this out but knew even before taking the pregnancy test that I would need to get an abortion if the test was positive. I was not in a place in my life to be having a baby nor did I know if that was something I would ever want to do. My boyfriend didn’t say either way – he just gave me space and emotional support, but I was still feeling quite depressed and embarrassed about having not prevented it from happening in the first place. Looking back, and after learning about SYA I realized how unnecessarily upsetting and difficult I made the whole experience for myself and probably my boyfriend too with the shame and embarrassment cloud I was carrying around. I isolated myself from friends and him through the process and we basically didn’t talk about it, which certainly did not make for a more healthy experience around it all.
I went to planned parenthood where I was met with warmth and neutrality about the options available to me and chose to take the medicine that allows you to be at home, without having a procedure. It was hard and uncomfortable and I ended up calling a close friend afterwards because I didn’t want to be alone.
Looking back, it really didn’t have to be such a bummer experience… and I kinda laugh at myself about it now. Because of the perception of abortion I’d been exposed to and because no one had ever talked to me about it – it was this whole dark secret thing – on top of the rough patch I was already going through. For some reason though, I did know that I could go to Planned Parenthood, and as someone who didn’t have a primary care doctor at the time, it was a relief to have someplace I could go and feel confident that I would receive professional care.
I’m so grateful for the support and ease they were able to provide and I’m also so glad I don’t have a kid right now. Basically people who don’t want to have kids really shouldn’t have to have kids, but since accidents do happen, what a huge difference it makes that we have the capability to abort unwanted pregnancies. Huge thank you to the people that make (affordable) abortion possible and to those who support each others’ right to choose what we do with our own bodies.