My Abortion #161: Decision Free Of Patriarchal Influence

Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days.

Today’s story comes from Debbie, who was well aware of the political nature of her narrative and fully embraced it. It was originally published at the Thanks, Abortion! website.

My abortion was easy and was paid by the state, and I went on to have a great life and 3 kids.

I was 28, in a new-but-serious relationship (that is still intact 33 years later). I was having short luteal phases (ovulation to next period) which made me a bit worried about my fertility. My partner and I were traveling, and I knew that my normal monitoring of when I ovulate was harder to track at that point. So I knew I was taking a chance. Subconsciously, I was probably wanting to test my fertility; I say that because when the pregnancy test came back positive I was curiously relieved.

My partner and I were planning on staying together and on having kids — as a result, we gave serious thought to keeping the pregnancy… we mulled on it for a few days. WE WERE AMBIVALENT ABOUT THE PREGNANCY, BUT IN AN ENTIRELY PERSONAL WAY… I HAD ZERO TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE’S RELIGIOUS OR PATRIARCHAL MORALS. We realized that if I kept the pregnancy, I would give birth the same week I was planning to start grad school. Since we were only just moving in with each other, it would also mean losing the opportunity to build our relationship without the simultaneous intensity of a pregnancy and infant. The decision was a carefully made one, but once we made it, the rest was like going to the dentist. I was on a very limited income, and was able to qualify for state funding for my procedure — the application process was expedited and streamlined and extremely friendly.

I went to Planned Parenthood, where everyone was super competent and nice. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t ambivalent; it didn’t even hurt, and I was fine afterwards.

So a lot of good came out of it for me: I felt more confident of my fertility, and my partner and I became clearer about our relationship and our plans. It didn’t change my views: I already believed that abortion is a woman’s right, and I always will.


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