My Abortion #129: I Live My Life Differently Now

Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days.

This story was originally published by Thanks Abortion. This is is Cass’s story.

I have never once wondered whether getting an abortion was right for me. I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was. I was in the midst of a divorce from a verbally and physically abusive man who drank excessively and had spiraled into a really bad person since we had gotten married. As a Christian, I didn’t believe in divorce and had put up with more than I should have for longer than I should have. When I finally left him, it was the best feeling in the world.

But I made a mistake and let him suck me back in two months after leaving him. We met and ended up having protected sex. The condom broke, so the next day I spent fifty dollars to buy Plan B. But, as it turns out, Plan B is only eighty nine percent effective. I got pregnant.

When I found out, my heart sunk. I was depressed, heartbroken, and suicidal. I was just graduating from school and had no money, no job, and no support system. Every dream I had ever had of setting up a life for my children was shattered. More so, the thought of having a child with a man I didn’t trust, a man I feared would hurt me and my child consistently throughout our lives, was too much for me to bear.

I knew that I was making the right decision. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a ridiculously hard and painful decision to make, but I knew and still know that it was the right decision for me. I have never regretted it, not even for a moment.

That being said, I live my life differently now. I live my life with a vivid sense that I want to be able to raise incredible children someday, and I want to be the best mother I can be. I am so thankful I had the right to choose what was best for me, and I will spend my life fighting for other women to have the same choice. My life has transformed drastically for the better since I had an abortion, and I am so thankful that when I do have children they will have a strong, loving, supportive mom rather than the mess of a person I was.

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