Roar will publish a first-person story about abortion, “My Abortion: A Daily Story,” every day for at least 365 days.
The following story appeared in Thanks Abortion! on Feb. 4, 2013. This is a website to “show women that abortion can be an innocuous procedure, and to dispel the way abortion is seen by showing stories from real women who are pleased with their decision to abort.”
Alissa describes her medical abortion in full detail explaining how she used her meditation training to “ride the waves of sensations.” This is her story.
I had a very positive experience with medical abortion (pills at home). I was so nervous about the pain and discomfort but was provided with more than enough pain killers (3 different kinds of varying strength) and I didn’t even feel the need to reach for the strongest ones. The doctor and nurses and counselor were all really great and comforting.
I had my boyfriend with me for most of the day; he brought me cupcakes, a smoothie, and other goodies, and he made me a wonderful lentil stew (though I had very little appetite). I acted sort of needy for the day but he appreciated being able to help.
I got the shot and the next day felt hungover all day (tired, a little nauseous, a little vomit in the morning, a little headache) — no big deal. Next day, I was really scared so, while alone in the morning, I relaxed my body and tried to release the fear I was holding. I told myself ‘I am safe’, ‘I trust my body’, ‘This is the right choice for me.’
I inserted and felt mild cramps after an hour (Ibuprofen before and then 2 codeine/T3s as I started to feel pain). About an hour after the second dose it was really happening and at first I wanted to just drug myself stupid but I am so glad I didn’t. I think I just had one codeine but I was still feeling quite a bit. I used my meditation training to help me ride the waves of sensation and observe, knowing that all passes and that I am safe. I laid straight out as if in a coffin (savasana in yoga terms) with piles of blankets and a heating pad under my lower back and over my feet and tried to just surrender. For about an hour or maybe two I laid there and my partner asked if I needed anything. After that I felt this huge sense of relief and I went to the toilet and noticed that it was over. I was free.